10 Nightmare Future Movie Dystopias That Are Now Preferable to the Real World
I read the news today, boy… Let’s face it, things aren’t great these days. The planet is burning, our oceans are clogged with sewage and trash, the air is becoming unfit to breathe, and evil geriatric idiots are entrenched in positions of power.
But hey, at least the cinema can keep up with us! So let’s take a cinematic vacation to ten dystopian futures from movies that are now a distinct upgrade to our terrible reality.
Blade Runner and Blade Runner 2049 takes place in a dark, dingy world where capitalism has disappeared, the environment is destroyed, and all-powerful corporations enslave sentient beings. This may sound quite familiar.
But, Blade Runner also there are flying cars, robot owls, and at least the possibility to escape outside the world. As far as I’m concerned, that’s a distinct upgrade over what we have now. Besides, who doesn’t like neon lights and a delicious noodle dinner?
Unrated 1993 action adventure by Sylvester Stallone Demolition Man presents us with a nightmare future where almost everyone is *sob* extremely nice. The horror! Offensive language is fined, cigarettes are banned, eating meat is off the cards, violence is extremely rare, and they’ve made incredible strides in the ass-smashing field.
Stallone does his best to convince us that we prefer terrible 90s comedians and rat burgers. As far as I’m concerned, gimme the three sea shells. I’ll figure it out eventually.
In 2002, Tom Cruise and Steven Spielberg chilled us with a vision of the United States without murder. Minority Report2054 seems like a clean and shiny time to live, with most environmental and social problems. The real sticking point is that the police use “pre-crime” psychics to stop murders before they happen.
According to the film, this program ended almost all the planned murders in six years. So naturally Tom Cruise has to stop this and Make America Murder Again. I say chill out Tom, even the best ointment sometimes flies there.
I’ll hold my hands up and admit that WALL-E‘s an abandoned garbage ball The world is pretty crappy. However, let’s face it, humanity isn’t doing so badly in outer space. You may have quibbles when the BnL corporation has absolute power over baby humans who have become obese after generations of micro-weights but those hover chairs look very cozy.
Would it really be so bad to kick back in a futuristic EZ-boy and let a robot take care of the hard stuff? Recolonization of a destroyed Earth? Eh, sounds like hard work.
War for the planet of the apes
Humanity may have brought art and science to the cosmos, but we have also destroyed our own ecosystems and inflicted unimaginable acts of cruelty on our fellow animals. So, though War for the planet of the apes indeed, it represents a wretched world, at least those who live there can look forward to a brighter future focused on birdlife and not slowly deteriorating into ecological armageddon.
This film also reveals that the Simian Flu is mutating and is now making people dumb. Finally, some peace and quiet.
Agent Smith had a point when he described people as a “virus”. In this universe, it was mankind who left the skies and the machines uncared for, so they were really just solidifying us when they were caught up with humanity in a detailed computer simulation of the real world.
Even better, within the Matrix it’s permanently 1999! Imagine enjoying the pre-release hype for The Phantom Menace again, humming without irony to Cher’s “Believe”, being honest about the expectations of the Sega Dreamcast, and wearing extremely baggy jeans without fear of ridicule! It’s time to admit that Cypher was right. Jam that spike into my port head, robolords!
We live in a creaky old antanocracy. The President is an octogenarian, the average age in the Senate and Congress is 64, he is 58. Maybe it’s time to simply clear out the dead wood and let younger minds have their way. in the future to make decisions. How to solve this problem? well, Logan ran that he had the right idea – just to murder everyone who is 30 years old.
The benefits are clear: a significant reduction in health care needs, a pop culture that looks forward rather than backward, and the ability to live life like there’s no tomorrow. “Don’t trust anyone over 30.” Good advice.
I will admit that living in the post-apocalyptic sand-blasted Australian desert is not for everyone, but at least Mad Max the end of the world has already happened. Get yourself in the good graces of the local skull-wearing warlord and you might even have a pretty fun life as you fashion armor from old tires and spikes.
Would I rather be wandering across the dunes at a hundred miles an hour flip-painting and screaming at the top of my lungs or sitting behind a desk filling out a spreadsheet and drinking bad coffee? Sounds like an easy call.
There are many things wrong with them Idiocracyand in the future, but when it comes to picking a President, they beat us. Enter Terry Crew President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho, who at first appears to be a joke, but ultimately proves to be far more competent than any recent occupant of the White House.
Consider this: when faced with a serious problem, President Camacho admitted that he could not solve it himself and searched for the most competent person for the job. Yes, he put that person on trial there, but he soon admitted that he was wrong and forgave him.
Camacho also stood up to big business and, when he lost an election, he graciously conceded defeat and supported his more competent opponent. We should be lucky to have politicians like Camacho.
On one hand, 1984 it depicts a world where individual thought has been destroyed, with people living hyper-controlled lives where any dissent is brutally wiped out by threatening rat-based interactions. Love is out, hate is in, and Big Brother rules everything.
On the other hand… complementary gin on tap?
Tough call. Seriously.
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